Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Upside : Down

If there were going to be anything shittier to happen to my life at this moment... I think it would be ok, because I'm not really sure if they could get worse. Watch just because I said that, now something horrible is going to happen.
What is bugging me is almost everything... I'm way behind in my Bringham University class, I'm losing my best friend, I'm feeling pressure for prom, My hair sucks!!
After finishing my Astronomy class I had the greatest feeling in the world, Accomplishment. I was so happy and Jose and I were ready to sing out load, ok not sing but it was one of those feelings, lol. Ok what joy right, well going to pop in the other class and we were expecting it to be like 6 or 8 chapters at most, and it ended up being a sledge hammer to the chest. It was 10 chapters and ok it might not sound to bad but at that moment I feel into a state of depression, each chapter was really long and my little dead line or friday seemed to be impossible to reach. I went home and felt like crap, I think that may have been the first time that I have ever felt so let down, and from myself.
Ok well you all know me and Erick have been fighting. It's really nothing new, me and Erick fight like we are married. Usually we will get mad and make up at the end of the day and tell each other how we are best friends and that we love each other so much that nothing is really worth fighting over. Yesterday was sooo different. I haven't talked to in two days and it feels like a really long time. I think he hates me now, because I know he hates Jose. I kinda have the feeling our friend ship may be jaked from now on, that is if it continues. Funny thing is when I think about it I don't really remember why we even fought. Well I know why we are mad at eachother, but the actually fight, not sure? I bet Erick is thinking exactly what was done and said and know the real reason. My guess- it was something I did, since he seems to believe it was my fault. Whatever I told him that I was done and this is stupid. Weird because usually I'm not the one to surrender first.
My mother had been asking me repeatedly.... Who are you going to prom with??? UUHHHH?
See I don't know yet. My plans were ask Estevan, but I haven't talked to him in so long, what would be a great conversation starter? " Hey, what's new... So... I can get you 40% off your tux to prom.. BUT only if you go with me" Ya I don't think so. I think what is so difficult is that he goes to west and he would then have two proms to worry about, so no. Well I thought about asking my friends, Jose and Erick, well not both. OK me and Erick are fighting and Jose has a wedding to go to in the same day in Texas. Just my luck. Since my mom knows everything that happens in my life, she thinks I should forget about these guys and find someone else, Because " You have to go" My mom said to ask my cousin to borrow her husbands younger brother...... Borrow? ok even if that was the slightest of a good idea, it's odd. Hey I don't know you and you certainly don't know me, and most likely you can't even understand a word of what I'm saying.. but wanna go with me to a really formal event? Oh Shnapp!
I got my long awaited hair cut today. I wanted something different but not too different. So I Cut a bit off and got bangs. Ha this reminds me of when I actually cared about what I looked like all the time my freshman year. I had bangs and I curled them everyday. Man I was cool. lol
But now, I've come to learn that no one really cares... Except for Erick. He said that if I cut my long pretty hair, he was never going to talk to me... WELL doesn't make much of a difference now, does it. Anyways I now have bangs, and they are quite annoying, maybe that's why I decided to lose them back then. Jose says they suck. Thanks BEST FRIEND. At least he is being honest I suppose. As I looked down at my locks of curls, I also remembered about how long it had been since I cut my hair, and what I have done to it since then. Flash back of Jennifer appeared and how us flipping off the camera was cool while she was "redoing" my highlights. The fact that she was on the phone the same time she was working on my hair didn't light up as something wrong. Yea you can imagine how it looked, so that same night we ran to walmart to get hair dye so my hair could be one solid color. OH that was fun. I can remember so vividly when I asked Kevin how it looked and he said great, with squinted eyes and a sneer grin on his face. That ass.
Hmmm. I really hope that this day passes quick, along with everything in it. I want to wake up tomorrow by the sunlight, not that crappy alarm, for some reason I think it will make me feel better.

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