AHHH gee I've been way too lazy to write, oh and especially now that our computer is brokened, ha is the even a word?? well it is now. WEll you all better congradulate me cuz I graduated.... ok and now it is over..... soon, oh well so movin along nothing that new oh wait there is but i choose to leave you in suspence, dun duh daaaa!!!
laters
Pattymay sue man
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Temp.... what?
Hola, another day of crazy weather that I like but at the same time hate. So much to inform ya'll of. Oh my did I just say ya'll, oh yea I did. He he.. My mom is now crazier than ever. I have made the decision to move out, and soon so by the end of month, I will be flying solo... just don't know with who yet. I recently talked to Kevin.. ah, a lost cause. He broke up with his girlfriend that was his fiance' ya... So now he wants to talk, and hang out. He thinks I'm with erick, maybe beause I told him I was. See my whole thing was that I would say I was with someone so he will not try to ask me back out again. Ha so me and Erick are together now, but for fav faves. lol I actually feel really bad for Kevin despite all the things that have happened between us, his gf decided to inform him that she actually did not , and thought that getting married was a bad idea. So now he has lost everything, including his money that was in his joined account. Sad thing is that he keeps mentioning how I was right for him and that he regrets all the things he did, like breaking up with me. Then I recive this text this morning... he says that he is falling for me, as in liking me again, and he feels bad about it because I'm "with" someone. In reality, I don't know if I could ever go back to him. Do you think it is possible for someone to change due to their past experiences??? I think it is possible.... Eventhough I still have feelings for him, I don't want to fall flat on my face again. Since he is the only one I have ever loved, there is that little something that I wish would go away. I'm so confused. I feel that if I do go back to him, everything I have planned will be all jacked, but mostly I'm afraid of the whole " I told you so" thing from everyone. Oh and that My family would be against it.... Hallo!!! AM I a rebound?? I don't think so cuz I'm "with" someone and technically we can't get back together untill I'm single.
Besides all that crap.. I'm not so sure what is on my mind besides school. which is hard and mind shredding. Okies well that is all for now.. cuz I'm currently fighting with Erick on IM. ah that sucks. outties
Besides all that crap.. I'm not so sure what is on my mind besides school. which is hard and mind shredding. Okies well that is all for now.. cuz I'm currently fighting with Erick on IM. ah that sucks. outties
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
La La La
Ha, well it has been a long time since I have been on, mostly because I had to so all kinds of crap... SO now I am back. OHHHH, I had tons of fun at Prom. I finally chose Erick to go with me, at first he couldn't go cuz his parents were being really mean. But then in the end, he was all mine for the whole night. Jose went to Texas for his Brothers wedding, I have to say I did miss him alot while he was gone. On Prom day I had to go to work, but they called in and wanted me to go in sooner so I could get out sooner, so I got out at 4:00, then went home and got ready. Ah, Erick you looked SOO hot, I must give you props, thanks to me of course, lol. Our night was good, we ate, then we went to prom, about a hour late, I blame those who love to take embarising pictures. We danced all night and took adorable pictures. We went to our house got dressed and went to After Prom, it was fun, but not as fun. We went to Erick's place at 4:30 in the morrning and then I stayed there till I had to go to work at 7:00. Which really sucked. I started falling asleep on Erick's bed then kept waking up. Everything was fine until I stared feeling it after a few hours. Ah that was a bad experience, but I lived aparently.
This week so far has been a real drag, life sucks, most of the time. Good news is that I am a new aunt, again. TWINS yay, and they are so adorable, I love it. Jose came back. Good news, except he is hiding something from me, and I think I know what it is. He thinks he is being repalced by Erick. I don't think so. but me and Erick have really bonded and have spent alot, and I mean alot of time together since he left, and it has drawn us closer. Jose now also thinks that there is something between me and Erick once again, no, at least I don't think so. Unless Erick wants to inform me of something, lol.
uh.. My mom on the other hand, had gone what seems like postal. She is on another one of her crazes and now wants me out of the house at the end of may...... ya ok. SO untill then I will have to figure something out, just incase she does decide to go along with her plans of making me leave.
I met this Italian boy, he is so cool, not to mention cute, lol. His name is Matteo. So I shall say, buen binutto. I think that is how you spell it, who knows, whatever. Ha, so it is off to class now, and to learn about Edgar Allen Poe, eventhough I feel like I know enough about him already.. oh well, So I am off.......
This week so far has been a real drag, life sucks, most of the time. Good news is that I am a new aunt, again. TWINS yay, and they are so adorable, I love it. Jose came back. Good news, except he is hiding something from me, and I think I know what it is. He thinks he is being repalced by Erick. I don't think so. but me and Erick have really bonded and have spent alot, and I mean alot of time together since he left, and it has drawn us closer. Jose now also thinks that there is something between me and Erick once again, no, at least I don't think so. Unless Erick wants to inform me of something, lol.
uh.. My mom on the other hand, had gone what seems like postal. She is on another one of her crazes and now wants me out of the house at the end of may...... ya ok. SO untill then I will have to figure something out, just incase she does decide to go along with her plans of making me leave.
I met this Italian boy, he is so cool, not to mention cute, lol. His name is Matteo. So I shall say, buen binutto. I think that is how you spell it, who knows, whatever. Ha, so it is off to class now, and to learn about Edgar Allen Poe, eventhough I feel like I know enough about him already.. oh well, So I am off.......
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Slumbery Agitation
I want to complain about how I can't sleep. It's not so much that I can't sleep but finding time to do so. So much has happened in a few days. I shall fill you in.....
Friday I went to a BBQ with Erick, it was fun. I have never ate so many huge cookies and rootbeer floats in one sitting, lol. Well apperently now people think we are together, ha that's funny. I love Erick to Death but we already went through that lil fase and now it's over, it's been over and Unlike jesus, It will not come back from the grave, at least not to my knowlege.
Saturday, another BBQ but my family, and as usual, they presume we are together, Why don't they think stuff like that with Jose?? Oh yea, cuz they all know I don't like him like that. My cousin was presenting Erick, and asked if he was "just" a friend, uh yeah.. Thats' how it starts, he says. Ok. But before we went to the BBQ I had gone to work, joy. Ahh, and then when me and Erick left, we saw Kevin. God I despise him somethimes. My heart felt like it was going to fall out and go into cardiac arrest. Crazy how you can feel like that just by seeing some one. As much as I try to deny it, I can't forget what we have been through, and undoubtibly, I will always have feeling for him, they may not be the same as they once were, but hey, hatred is a feeling, lol Moving on...
Sunday, I was really tired, like all day, I didn't go to sleep untill alot later than i had expected, I was talking to Jose all night. Have you ever heard news from someone that just for some reason makes the rest of your day, in my case night, feel like crap. Ya thats what happened to me. It feel like a sort of deception.. But ya know what, It's ok, it's not like that person was, ok wait that is not going to make sense, so I might as well not say it..lol.
Maybe because it was a busy weekend, is why I had like no sleep. I have made the decision to not accept restricted calls. It may sound weird, but there had been this guy who calls in the middle of the night, asking me what underwear I'm wearing, and it's really freaking me out!! Ya one day he called out of the blue like at 2 in the morning, and He admitted he had the wrong number, but he still calls. Can you say PSHYCO!!
Also, this whole prom thing, I asked Erick, he's my boy and I know I would have tons of fun with him. Not a problem. Untill yesterday, ( sigh) his parents may not let him go, which sucks. So maybe that is why I have been all weireded out lately. Ahh, and not to mention that I did not get Prom weekend like I though I would, so I have to work from 10 to 6 on saturday, go to Prom, from 9 to 12, I want to go to after prom, which is from 12 to 4 in the morning, then, I have to work from 7 to 3 on sunday. So I'll will most likley be running on caffine and sugary products to keep awake, lol.
I have to take these 2 huge test for the BYU thing, which I have not studied for, which is way bad... I'm getting a little stressed over everything that is happening, but it's not that big. My goal is to take them tomorrow, and hopefully pass.
Jose left yesterday to Texas for his brothers wedding. So before he left we all watched house of daggars, and YES i did cry in the end, it was soooo sad, he came back for her... aww I hate movies that are so sweet and romantic and make dorks like me cry. But later on as I was leaving, Jose got really sad, and he got all teary, which made me sad. He made it seem like he was never ever going to see me again. Wow he really does have strong and pshycotic feelings for me. Lol. Well I gotta go now, off to a great day in school, watching a movie and eating sushi.
laters
Friday I went to a BBQ with Erick, it was fun. I have never ate so many huge cookies and rootbeer floats in one sitting, lol. Well apperently now people think we are together, ha that's funny. I love Erick to Death but we already went through that lil fase and now it's over, it's been over and Unlike jesus, It will not come back from the grave, at least not to my knowlege.
Saturday, another BBQ but my family, and as usual, they presume we are together, Why don't they think stuff like that with Jose?? Oh yea, cuz they all know I don't like him like that. My cousin was presenting Erick, and asked if he was "just" a friend, uh yeah.. Thats' how it starts, he says. Ok. But before we went to the BBQ I had gone to work, joy. Ahh, and then when me and Erick left, we saw Kevin. God I despise him somethimes. My heart felt like it was going to fall out and go into cardiac arrest. Crazy how you can feel like that just by seeing some one. As much as I try to deny it, I can't forget what we have been through, and undoubtibly, I will always have feeling for him, they may not be the same as they once were, but hey, hatred is a feeling, lol Moving on...
Sunday, I was really tired, like all day, I didn't go to sleep untill alot later than i had expected, I was talking to Jose all night. Have you ever heard news from someone that just for some reason makes the rest of your day, in my case night, feel like crap. Ya thats what happened to me. It feel like a sort of deception.. But ya know what, It's ok, it's not like that person was, ok wait that is not going to make sense, so I might as well not say it..lol.
Maybe because it was a busy weekend, is why I had like no sleep. I have made the decision to not accept restricted calls. It may sound weird, but there had been this guy who calls in the middle of the night, asking me what underwear I'm wearing, and it's really freaking me out!! Ya one day he called out of the blue like at 2 in the morning, and He admitted he had the wrong number, but he still calls. Can you say PSHYCO!!
Also, this whole prom thing, I asked Erick, he's my boy and I know I would have tons of fun with him. Not a problem. Untill yesterday, ( sigh) his parents may not let him go, which sucks. So maybe that is why I have been all weireded out lately. Ahh, and not to mention that I did not get Prom weekend like I though I would, so I have to work from 10 to 6 on saturday, go to Prom, from 9 to 12, I want to go to after prom, which is from 12 to 4 in the morning, then, I have to work from 7 to 3 on sunday. So I'll will most likley be running on caffine and sugary products to keep awake, lol.
I have to take these 2 huge test for the BYU thing, which I have not studied for, which is way bad... I'm getting a little stressed over everything that is happening, but it's not that big. My goal is to take them tomorrow, and hopefully pass.
Jose left yesterday to Texas for his brothers wedding. So before he left we all watched house of daggars, and YES i did cry in the end, it was soooo sad, he came back for her... aww I hate movies that are so sweet and romantic and make dorks like me cry. But later on as I was leaving, Jose got really sad, and he got all teary, which made me sad. He made it seem like he was never ever going to see me again. Wow he really does have strong and pshycotic feelings for me. Lol. Well I gotta go now, off to a great day in school, watching a movie and eating sushi.
laters
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
I can't think of a worthy title
Ok so I get out of school and I got a call from Mrs. Capmpell. The one who was to call me about the speech. Well I didn't get the part which makes me sad but not to the point of real sadness. James Lopez got it, go fig... he's really good so he deserved it. They liked my speech and they said I did a great job delivering the point and that it wasn't so obvious that I was so nervous. Right, but then again I bet they say that to everyone, I think I don't feel so bad because other people besides me didn't get it either. That sounds mean doesn't it.... oh well. The really bad news is that I am out of chocolate, so I guess I have to settle on peanut butter, sugary pudding and ice cold cokes.
It's raining outside and it makes everything of a bad day seem worse. It's not that I don't like rainy days, I just think they are better when you have someone to share hot chocolate with and then watch tv under the spongebob blanket. Being alone with my jar of peter pan peanut butter just doesn't quite feel the same.lol. I forgot to do my chemistry and sociology homework so that sucks, but I'm behind because I choose it that way I guess.
I've been having a hard time thinking lately and hence my title... So I'll leave it at that because I refuse to fight with my brain any longer.
It's raining outside and it makes everything of a bad day seem worse. It's not that I don't like rainy days, I just think they are better when you have someone to share hot chocolate with and then watch tv under the spongebob blanket. Being alone with my jar of peter pan peanut butter just doesn't quite feel the same.lol. I forgot to do my chemistry and sociology homework so that sucks, but I'm behind because I choose it that way I guess.
I've been having a hard time thinking lately and hence my title... So I'll leave it at that because I refuse to fight with my brain any longer.
Comfort
AHH.... I feel like crap!!!! Ok I just got done with my audition and I really F***ed up. I honestly don't hink I'm going to get it, oh well. There were a ton of people that were way better than me and it was way intimidating. I went and messed up and left ok with my speech, which is odd because I suck at public speaking. So after feeling bad there was one thing I turned to... Chocolate of course. Along with a amplid amount of candy and pickles, food that would make me feel better and I must say it did, I wouldn't doubt if I gained 6 pounds in the process of my happines but that is fine because as long as I am happy, it's all good. We are supposed to get a call tonight about the speech, I heard my speech was funny but it's not enough to be great. I wanna get this off my mind but I can't and it bothers me.
Moving along with my life, I had to perform an excert from Macbeth today and I must say it went well we pulled it off, so on friday I have to do another one, yay what joy. For some reason I have been felling weird lately, people are easily getting on my nerves. Like Jose for instance he's really been annoying, oh wait maybe it's cuz he's calling me a bitch every other second, sorry forgot. lol
Well I'm off to school again, another night of exciting literature with Mrs. Coyle, I can't wait till this is over. Buh bye
Moving along with my life, I had to perform an excert from Macbeth today and I must say it went well we pulled it off, so on friday I have to do another one, yay what joy. For some reason I have been felling weird lately, people are easily getting on my nerves. Like Jose for instance he's really been annoying, oh wait maybe it's cuz he's calling me a bitch every other second, sorry forgot. lol
Well I'm off to school again, another night of exciting literature with Mrs. Coyle, I can't wait till this is over. Buh bye
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Tick Tock Tick Tock
As you can see it's whatever time it says at the bottom. I fell asleep at 5 and then I woke up around 8:30 or so and now I can't go back to sleep, (sigh) but I'm tired, but not sleepy.
Today... ok I guess, I'm listening ot one of my favorite songs, appraise chourus by Jimmy eats World, yay. Today I read that blog Jose posted on myspace and it's kinda scary. The fact that he would give up his life for me is sweet but the other fact that he cares for me soo much to pay a randsom and give up his life is a little stange, It makes me wonder how much stronger he viewed our friendship to be than I though he thought, uh.. does that make sense? Ok, so back to what I was saying, he said that I looked Beautiful the day I we all went to pizza blast.... Right, I don't think I have ever looked so cheezzy!! Hello I was taking care of kids. I was wearing jeans and a shirt, and my hair was craptastically put in a some sort of bun.. Hot, I don't think so. He stated that he wanted to "make out with me" as if!! He was afraid of my reaction, ok ya afraid that I would beat the crap out of him?? Cuz I so would. And I think he's just jealous of Estevan, cuz he's not a fatass, and to be jealous of Estevan right now? thats sad. Ohhh another fav song, Cable car by the Fray, I love this song!!! Me and Jose went ot go see htem at the UNC Ballroom that day it was snowing like crazy but they cancelled the concert and I haven't checked whrn they come back. Anyways me and Erick are speaking once again but one of those conversations that seem tense. I know he's still mad. It just doesn't feel the same anymore. As for me and Jose and the getting in trouble thing, his mom is mad and so is mine and hopefully we will all get over this soon.
Other thoughts, I saw Mrs. Zappanti today she sent a million passes for me and called my phone during class, can you say obessesive? SO I went and saw her after school, she's sweet but a little crazy and won't quit till you do what is right... Which makes me question what I tell her now, since I want to go to aims and not take a year off I have to fill a FAFSA sheet, oh no, and I have to do it soon, very soon, or so she says. It's ok she's just trying to help me, and she has yummy trail mix!! Since I wanted to try out for the commensment speech for Graduation, that would mean I have to write a speech, great logic, lol. So I thought and thought, and I have stuff on paper but it's not final and is bad because I have to try out tommorow, oops.
I'm not sure if it's even good and I suck at speaking in front of a few people let alone hundreds, I guess there is no harm in trying and at least they will hear what I have to say. I do want to get picked but I'm just so scared, so whatever happens, happens. But do wish me good luck!!!
Enough for now I think I'll try to sleep now, but I guarantee that I will be tossing and turning, paying for those few hours that I crashed. Goodnight
Today... ok I guess, I'm listening ot one of my favorite songs, appraise chourus by Jimmy eats World, yay. Today I read that blog Jose posted on myspace and it's kinda scary. The fact that he would give up his life for me is sweet but the other fact that he cares for me soo much to pay a randsom and give up his life is a little stange, It makes me wonder how much stronger he viewed our friendship to be than I though he thought, uh.. does that make sense? Ok, so back to what I was saying, he said that I looked Beautiful the day I we all went to pizza blast.... Right, I don't think I have ever looked so cheezzy!! Hello I was taking care of kids. I was wearing jeans and a shirt, and my hair was craptastically put in a some sort of bun.. Hot, I don't think so. He stated that he wanted to "make out with me" as if!! He was afraid of my reaction, ok ya afraid that I would beat the crap out of him?? Cuz I so would. And I think he's just jealous of Estevan, cuz he's not a fatass, and to be jealous of Estevan right now? thats sad. Ohhh another fav song, Cable car by the Fray, I love this song!!! Me and Jose went ot go see htem at the UNC Ballroom that day it was snowing like crazy but they cancelled the concert and I haven't checked whrn they come back. Anyways me and Erick are speaking once again but one of those conversations that seem tense. I know he's still mad. It just doesn't feel the same anymore. As for me and Jose and the getting in trouble thing, his mom is mad and so is mine and hopefully we will all get over this soon.
Other thoughts, I saw Mrs. Zappanti today she sent a million passes for me and called my phone during class, can you say obessesive? SO I went and saw her after school, she's sweet but a little crazy and won't quit till you do what is right... Which makes me question what I tell her now, since I want to go to aims and not take a year off I have to fill a FAFSA sheet, oh no, and I have to do it soon, very soon, or so she says. It's ok she's just trying to help me, and she has yummy trail mix!! Since I wanted to try out for the commensment speech for Graduation, that would mean I have to write a speech, great logic, lol. So I thought and thought, and I have stuff on paper but it's not final and is bad because I have to try out tommorow, oops.
I'm not sure if it's even good and I suck at speaking in front of a few people let alone hundreds, I guess there is no harm in trying and at least they will hear what I have to say. I do want to get picked but I'm just so scared, so whatever happens, happens. But do wish me good luck!!!
Enough for now I think I'll try to sleep now, but I guarantee that I will be tossing and turning, paying for those few hours that I crashed. Goodnight
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